Kollinger cartoon 02-17

Now that Super Bowl LV is over I think it’s safe to say that it was the worst one ever. Although, to be fair, there’s a lot of competition for that title. I agree with Duane Thomas, who said that if the Super Bowl was the ultimate game, “Why do they play it every year?” Thomas is interesting because although he was clearly the MVP of the ‘71 contest Sport Magazine wasn’t sure how he would act so they awarded it to Roger Staubach.

The Super Bowl is named after Lamar Hunt’s (KC) children who were playing with a super ball and he took the name from that.

Probably the most famous Super Bowl was the third one in which Joe Namath “guaranteed” a win over the heavily favored (17.5 points) Baltimore Colts. Namath, by the way, is the only quarterback in the Hall of Fame with more interceptions than touchdowns, and — if it were such a big deal — how come the AFL won the next two years?

That wasn’t even the first time that a player had “guaranteed” a victory. That honor goes to Fred “The Hammer” Williamson in the very first Super Bowl. Fred had a very special karate move that would paralyze the Green Bay Packers with fear. Fred lasted about three plays into the game before being knocked unconscious.

I didn’t see the first part of this year’s game (thankfully) because I didn’t want to see who was kneeling and who wasn’t, and I’m tired of hearing about Colin Kaepernick. But I did see two jets and a Stealth Bomber fly over the stadium. I should mention here that I previously had mistakenly been opposed to the B-1 bomber until Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream decided that the way to American’s hearts and minds was through editorial cartoons opposing the B-1 bomber. If you sent them an editorial cartoon opposing the B-1, they would send you a coupon worth a half-gallon of their ice cream. I was sending them one a day. I don’t know what The Star Democrat thought, but I was living large for a while until they discontinued the program and I went back to being pro-B-1 bomber.

The game started and it was obvious that Mahomes was off his game. This didn’t surprise me. There has been a trend in recent years to think that last year’s Super Bowl winning quarterback is the best of all time. They aren’t.

I happen to think that Johnny Unitas is the greatest quarterback of all time for his inventiveness, his creativity and his stoicism. Look at the photos from the ‘58 overtime game, no ball slamming, no high-fives, no backflips. Just Unitas with his back turned walking off the field. One of the neatest stories I heard about Unitas was when the Hall of Fame wanted his high tops for display he told them they’d have to wait until after mowing season because he needed the traction.

The Chiefs apparently didn’t get the memo that any long pass was pass interference. By the time they figured it out it was too late. Mahomes would scramble wildly twenty yards backwards and then throw an uncatchable ball. I think he was panicking.

The ads were dreadful and made no sense except to throw in as many celebrities as possible. Would it be OK to shoot the obnoxious Kevin Hart and not give him time to pray?

Bruce Springsteen has been praised for his ad where he picks the center of the country and calls for unity. This would’ve been more effective if he hadn’t made so many derogatory comments about former President Trump.

The halftime shows in the first few years were mainly marching bands, usually from Grambling which featured washed up stars like Pete Fountain, Al Hirt and Andy Williams. This did give jobs to the hormonally perky Up With People who could be counted on to gaze adoringly at the performers. Things started to pick up with Justin Timberlake, Janet Jackson, Gloria Esteban, the creepy Who, Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Prince and Tom Petty.

Lately we’ve been subjected to rap “artists” who stomp around on the stage swathed in gold chains and grabbing their crotches. This year’s artist was Weeknd whom I couldn’t hear and was grateful.

So anyway, Brady let enough air out of the football to be able to hit Gronk for a couple of touchdowns and the Buccaneers ran away with the game.

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