Be still my heart! Recognition! A large envelope addressed to me from DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States, with the warning DO NOT BEND. Inside is a handsome Certificate of Recognition, suitable for framing, officially recognizing me — and here my name is printed as on a diploma — as “a leading grassroots activist in the Republican Party:” .. .etc., etc. In the enclosed letter, coyly dated “Monday Morning,” I find that my “record of generous support” puts me among Mr. Trump’s “top grassroots supporters.”
Friends and countrymen, please be informed that I have never given a dime to the Republican Party. Further, I fled the party of Lincoln in horror and registered as a Democrat in time to vote in the 2016 Democratic primary.
Nowhere in this cockamamie major-insult-to-anyone’s-intelligence two-page letter plus a P.S. does it say anything like “and I will gladly take your $35 dollars — you won’t get any recognition if you send less — and buy another one of my son’s books so it will look like he wrote a best seller.” That’s for us to figure out.
MARGARET BARTON DRIGGS